[She doesn't get it. Did something go wrong? Why were they plants? Were they ever kids?]
[Sitting there as the last eggs hatched, it was just the other sapling and two more bundles of flowers. Was this a joke? After days of panicking and preparing, of laying them, of waiting for them to hatch, they were only plants? She placed a hand on her head, bewildered and feeling a headache actually coming on.]
[Flowers and trees. Not a single scale, foot, hand or face at all. He felt a worrying sinking in his belly, an anxious spin in his mind and the book was abandoned. They'd seen so much chroma in the ultrasound, the eggs were just moving. They felt more alive than simple plants just moments ago...
Kanji wanted to scream in confusion and frustration. What the hell was anything they just did for, then!? Didn't they take all this time, expend all this effort for some kind of sick joke?? It was too soon for children, but he was ready. He took time. He'd... he'd gotten so pumped and assured the both of them that everything would be okay.]
Naoto. We... w-we didn't do anything wrong, did we?
[His voice was cracking a bit and he didn't know how to stop it. His hands shook as he reached for his communicator. Doctors were professionals. Maybe they knew what was up. It- it couldn't just be them. Maybe everyone else had plants and they'd have some kind of answer.
But he didn't have the heart to dial. He felt numb. Instead he lifted his gaze, helplessness painted over every facet when he looked to Naoto. He could feel a pang in his head. Headache... not his.]
[But she was positive they did everything right. She doesn't even know what they could've done wrong in order for this to be the end result. They had been moving, they had grown and kicked, and she had been so sure they were actually going to hatch into something, but plants??]
[Shaking her head, she felt Kanji's eyes on him, but couldn't meet his gaze.]
... Could it be my fault?
[If anyone had the biggest influence on their development, it had to have been her, right?]
[His hands clenched, seizing fistfuls of blanket. That numb couldn't even muster up the desire to cling to his bones, feebly ebbing away to hurt. His face felt hot, and as his vision fogged he knew this overflow was bound to happen whether the eggs held babies or... well, not.]
No.
[His voice was raw, as if unused. But after pushing aside the shock for so long, he had to face this strange pain up front.]
Don't you dare blame yourself for this! Y-you couldn't have known.
[Neither of them could have. Here they were, sitting among eggshells and a small garden now. He wondered if anyone planted these flowers and trees and figured they'd sprout kids someday. But despite public opinion, Kanji wasn't a fool... Naoto wasn't even anywhere near stupid, to boot.
He lowered his gaze to the blossoms.]
This place tricked us. Everything likes to trick us here. They... managed to get us this time.
Heh... oops, we goofed. Now we have stuff to add to the garden, huh...?
[He laughed, but it wasn't even heartfelt. He slid off his glasses and put his face in his hands.]
W-we weren't ready for this. We got years ahead of us before even talkin' about this kinda thing. I'm-... I'm relieved, in a way, but... here I am, cryin' anyway...
[Isn't that logically the answer? The one factor in this that could've - possibly would've - altered the eggs if at all possible in her initial worries of pending motherhood? Her eyes were stinging and her fact felt hot. She didn't want to - she hated this feeling building up in her chest, but it was becoming so hard to fight.]
[And when her eyes wandered over one of the flowers, it became worse.]
... Right... right. I-It was... foolish to think we'd actually managed to reproduce. They told us over and over that we've been made sterile.
[She can't even muster a fake laugh like him, feeling her own tears slide down her face. She rubbed her face, but it didn't help.]
I-I don't know... what you're talking about. Kanji-kun, you... all that you did for them... I would say you were sufficiently prepared.
[It was foolish. They were sterile. He was going to go to his appointment, offer a sample and get news he now had no doubts he'd receive. While perhaps he had done what he could to sufficiently prepare for fatherhood, it hadn't given him solace. He was so tired of being fooled, especially when it played with his heart like this.
He lowered his hands and felt his heart shatter further. He pushed himself away from the shells and plants, a mess that needed cleaning (and plants that needed potting because... because he still couldn't help but care, damn it) to cross and sit next to her. His reached out and took her in, let himself break further.
Because while misery loved company, he loved her. She shouldn't beat herself up over this, or blame herself. They were a bewildered, tricked pair, but one with the wool pulled away from over their eyes.]
Only 'cause of you, Naoto. Okay? I couldn't feel confident, or... or get as far as I did or even have my head together were it not for you. I-I love you, okay?
We'll get it right in the future, won't we? No more tricks, nothin' but experience under our belts. We'll be older. Wiser, too. And we're gonna kick ass, right?
[He hiccuped a breath and held her tighter. He was sorry for making her hair wet, but he needed to sob a while.]
[She wouldn't mind just sitting there - he didn't have to comfort her. This was her mistake thinking they'd have some big, momentous occasion away from home when it wasn't possible. Why should they get to have kids? Not with all their issues.]
[But when he came to her side and gathered her up, she felt more tears pour down her face. She leaned into his chest and wrapped her arms tight around his waist, hiding herself as the flow worsened.]
[One day? Right... maybe. If only she could speak, but the most she could muster was a sob.]
[The misfortune of a link: Everything flowed in, blended and amplified. It left an ache in Kanji's heart, and that telltale ache behind the eyes of weary tear ducts. He hadn't felt anything like this in a long, long time.
He stroked her hair and felt that especially tempting pull in his soul, that desire to just relive it all again and again and step away from everything else. It was the same when his father died, reliving the final moments he'd been able to speak with him, and kicking himself over and over in a mental self-flagellation. Though proverbial fingers seemed to reach for that option, it took will to pull that away.]
Th-this sucks. I'm so sorry...
[Don't blame yourself. For as long as he lived, for as long as he was here, he would remind her of this. Even if they didn't have the issues they had, even if somehow they were fuckin' Stepford Folk, it wouldn't have changed this outcome. When the ultrasound showed vague chroma cores within the shelled outlines,perhaps... perhaps they knew, but didn't listen to themselves.
But that left the plants. The shells. What should they do with them...?]
[She's so grateful for him; and since she can't muster up the ability to talk at the moment, she could at least mentally reach out to him feeble as it feels right now. It would be a while to get over this - over the profound disappointment she didn't expect to feel - but he's here. She doesn't have to go through this alone.]
[His thoughts about the plants... was meant with the idea they should be planted. Not that she wanted to look at them again at the moment.]
[Reluctance blended with an idea: Plant them. He would get on that soon, some place where they'd thrive under sunshine and rain. They were just plants, but that didn't mean they couldn't be treated with care. But the disappointment was palpable, was real...
By sundown, the plants would be replanted. The only evidence of them would be a little soil under Kanji's fingernails, the eggshells he realized a perfect fertilizer. It was still that lingering, perhaps fatherly drive that fought to continue to live in him that demanded that- at least in letting them go- they would be well-established.
But he kept two shards of shell, smooth and mother-of-pearlesque, gently filed around the edges to form rounded charms. With simple thread it could go around the neck. Kanji set them on the night stands, one for Naoto to take or simply store if she desired.
He wasn't sure why he made them. Was it to never forget, that they should keep their heads as clear as possible when something happened here, or simply both?
Whatever the case, Kanji was never one to turn down accessories. To go with the other things he wore, each symbolizing something both minor and major, he wore his and tucked it under his shirt.]
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chiming
no subject
Date: 2020-07-23 04:34 am (UTC)From:[She doesn't get it. Did something go wrong? Why were they plants? Were they ever kids?]
[Sitting there as the last eggs hatched, it was just the other sapling and two more bundles of flowers. Was this a joke? After days of panicking and preparing, of laying them, of waiting for them to hatch, they were only plants? She placed a hand on her head, bewildered and feeling a headache actually coming on.]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-23 02:39 pm (UTC)From:Kanji wanted to scream in confusion and frustration. What the hell was anything they just did for, then!? Didn't they take all this time, expend all this effort for some kind of sick joke?? It was too soon for children, but he was ready. He took time. He'd... he'd gotten so pumped and assured the both of them that everything would be okay.]
Naoto. We... w-we didn't do anything wrong, did we?
[His voice was cracking a bit and he didn't know how to stop it. His hands shook as he reached for his communicator. Doctors were professionals. Maybe they knew what was up. It- it couldn't just be them. Maybe everyone else had plants and they'd have some kind of answer.
But he didn't have the heart to dial. He felt numb. Instead he lifted his gaze, helplessness painted over every facet when he looked to Naoto. He could feel a pang in his head. Headache... not his.]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-23 08:04 pm (UTC)From:[But she was positive they did everything right. She doesn't even know what they could've done wrong in order for this to be the end result. They had been moving, they had grown and kicked, and she had been so sure they were actually going to hatch into something, but plants??]
[Shaking her head, she felt Kanji's eyes on him, but couldn't meet his gaze.]
... Could it be my fault?
[If anyone had the biggest influence on their development, it had to have been her, right?]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-24 01:51 am (UTC)From:No.
[His voice was raw, as if unused. But after pushing aside the shock for so long, he had to face this strange pain up front.]
Don't you dare blame yourself for this! Y-you couldn't have known.
[Neither of them could have. Here they were, sitting among eggshells and a small garden now. He wondered if anyone planted these flowers and trees and figured they'd sprout kids someday. But despite public opinion, Kanji wasn't a fool... Naoto wasn't even anywhere near stupid, to boot.
He lowered his gaze to the blossoms.]
This place tricked us. Everything likes to trick us here. They... managed to get us this time.
Heh... oops, we goofed. Now we have stuff to add to the garden, huh...?
[He laughed, but it wasn't even heartfelt. He slid off his glasses and put his face in his hands.]
W-we weren't ready for this. We got years ahead of us before even talkin' about this kinda thing. I'm-... I'm relieved, in a way, but... here I am, cryin' anyway...
no subject
Date: 2020-07-24 02:52 am (UTC)From:[Isn't that logically the answer? The one factor in this that could've - possibly would've - altered the eggs if at all possible in her initial worries of pending motherhood? Her eyes were stinging and her fact felt hot. She didn't want to - she hated this feeling building up in her chest, but it was becoming so hard to fight.]
[And when her eyes wandered over one of the flowers, it became worse.]
... Right... right. I-It was... foolish to think we'd actually managed to reproduce. They told us over and over that we've been made sterile.
[She can't even muster a fake laugh like him, feeling her own tears slide down her face. She rubbed her face, but it didn't help.]
I-I don't know... what you're talking about. Kanji-kun, you... all that you did for them... I would say you were sufficiently prepared.
no subject
Date: 2020-07-24 03:16 am (UTC)From:He lowered his hands and felt his heart shatter further. He pushed himself away from the shells and plants, a mess that needed cleaning (and plants that needed potting because... because he still couldn't help but care, damn it) to cross and sit next to her. His reached out and took her in, let himself break further.
Because while misery loved company, he loved her. She shouldn't beat herself up over this, or blame herself. They were a bewildered, tricked pair, but one with the wool pulled away from over their eyes.]
Only 'cause of you, Naoto. Okay? I couldn't feel confident, or... or get as far as I did or even have my head together were it not for you. I-I love you, okay?
We'll get it right in the future, won't we? No more tricks, nothin' but experience under our belts. We'll be older. Wiser, too. And we're gonna kick ass, right?
[He hiccuped a breath and held her tighter. He was sorry for making her hair wet, but he needed to sob a while.]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-25 06:45 pm (UTC)From:[But when he came to her side and gathered her up, she felt more tears pour down her face. She leaned into his chest and wrapped her arms tight around his waist, hiding herself as the flow worsened.]
[One day? Right... maybe. If only she could speak, but the most she could muster was a sob.]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-25 08:24 pm (UTC)From:He stroked her hair and felt that especially tempting pull in his soul, that desire to just relive it all again and again and step away from everything else. It was the same when his father died, reliving the final moments he'd been able to speak with him, and kicking himself over and over in a mental self-flagellation. Though proverbial fingers seemed to reach for that option, it took will to pull that away.]
Th-this sucks. I'm so sorry...
[Don't blame yourself. For as long as he lived, for as long as he was here, he would remind her of this. Even if they didn't have the issues they had, even if somehow they were fuckin' Stepford Folk, it wouldn't have changed this outcome. When the ultrasound showed vague chroma cores within the shelled outlines,perhaps... perhaps they knew, but didn't listen to themselves.
But that left the plants. The shells. What should they do with them...?]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-27 05:23 pm (UTC)From:[His thoughts about the plants... was meant with the idea they should be planted. Not that she wanted to look at them again at the moment.]
no subject
Date: 2020-07-27 05:59 pm (UTC)From:By sundown, the plants would be replanted. The only evidence of them would be a little soil under Kanji's fingernails, the eggshells he realized a perfect fertilizer. It was still that lingering, perhaps fatherly drive that fought to continue to live in him that demanded that- at least in letting them go- they would be well-established.
But he kept two shards of shell, smooth and mother-of-pearlesque, gently filed around the edges to form rounded charms. With simple thread it could go around the neck. Kanji set them on the night stands, one for Naoto to take or simply store if she desired.
He wasn't sure why he made them. Was it to never forget, that they should keep their heads as clear as possible when something happened here, or simply both?
Whatever the case, Kanji was never one to turn down accessories. To go with the other things he wore, each symbolizing something both minor and major, he wore his and tucked it under his shirt.]